Situation 1: Qualified for Dominos?
Dominos Salesperson: Hello! Welcome to Domino’s. Today’s running offer….(and he keep on running and I switch on my patient cells!)
Me: (after the salesperson is over): Can I order a small Golden Delight Pizza? My ph number is 98XXXXXXXXX.
Dominos Salesperson: Thanks Sir! Would you like to have chicken wings?
Dominos Salesperson: (surprised!!!!) Just a small pizza sir?
Me: yes! (Without any guilt but some irritation)
Dominos Salesperson: Sir, if you order a medium sized pizza, I’ll have chicken wings on the house (trying to tempt me!)
Me: No, thank you, just a small sized pizza for cheese’s sake! (more irritated but I meditated about 30 minutes back, so not losing it)
Dominos Salesperson: So, it is just a small Golden Delight Pizza? (can’t believe)
Me: Yes (irritated, do I need to fax the confirmation?)
Dominos Salesperson: That will be Rs 219 sir (that’s almost a mockery tone. She doesn’t like this call from below-the-poverty-line customer).
Me: Thank you! (God bless my limited yearning for junk food!)
Situation 2: You can’t JUST get a hair cut at Affinity Salon!
Hair Stylist (for me he is still the good old nai): Sir, your hair needs a shampoo before a hair cut (that’s 250 bucks apart from the luxurious Rs 400 hair cut)
Me: But I shampooed them in the morning (trying to be logical, forgetting it doesn’t work)
Hair Stylist: They still need a shampoo. Too oily. (how dare he argue with an expert?)
Me: Ok (no choice. I don’t want the scissors to be slipping and injuring my scalp)
Hair Stylist: (during the haricut): Sir, please try our hair massage. It will relax you to the core (another Rs 400! Yummm!)
Me: (after a deep and quick thought): Ok, but what’s the duration of massage?
Hair Stylist: It’s 30 minutes usually, but 40 minutes for you (you sound interested. I won’t let you go)
Me: ok, done! I’ll try one! (I am caught in the web. But the word ‘relaxing’ is tempting!)
Hair Stylist: (again during the hair cut): There some blackheads on your nose! You should get a facial done with blah blah blah….(that should be Rs 2000. I care damn if he needs it)
Me: No, I think I am better off with my not-so-appealing looks (you have gone too far buddy. I am not a woman!)
Hair Stylist: Sir, dekh lo! Blackheads will only multiply and make you look bad. You need a treatment urgently (needs more
Me: (getting a bit stern): no, just leave it. I don’t need it. I don’t have a budget.
Hair Stylist: Sir, what do you say. It’s just Rs. 1500 for you (let me build it up more).
Me: (now quite irritated). No, thanks!
Hair Stylist: Ok sir, dekh lo. (slows down the hair cut. Gives a slightly displeased look. You missed your chance to look Brad Pitt!)
If you ask me if I still order at Domino’s and go to Affinity, then the answer is yes. Simply because I find them better than their sales-hungry competitors, so what if I am a shallow pocketed client. That’s not my problem! I enjoy pizzas in a stylish hair cut!
Long live salesmanship, and unrelenting happy customers!